Top 8 Things You’ll Never Hear a New Yorker Say

As I was riding the subway today, I was suddenly tickled (er,  ever so slightly irritated) by how different the culture and lifestyle is here.

This inspired a little Friday afternoon list of things you will never hear a New Yorker say:

  1. “Oh here, ma’am… you take my seat!” Living in NYC has convinced me that chivalry really might be dead. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those girls that expects to always have doors opened and stuff, but… in what other scenario would six (SIX!!!!) men be sitting down and five women standing up!? The only exception to this rule is if you’re pregnant. My sister visited when she was pregnant, and people gave her their seats left and right.
  2. “You really get a lot of bang for your buck paying rent here.” Not at all. It’s more like, “What!? My friends bought a 3-bedroom house with 5x the square footage and their mortgage is less than half of our rent.”
  3. “Closing my eyes and wearing headphones while I’m on the subway really does make me feel like I’m alone on a tropical island.” I know this is people’s way of having personal space, but I really prefer to look around and people watch. And repeatedly make eye contact with the same person. Awkward.
  4. “My body temperature is always so consistent.” Braving the elements, combined with half-mile walks and hot/cold (based on the season) subway platforms, there is really no way to regulate your temperature. I’m constantly taking off or adding layers. My husband apparently does have perfect temperature regulation because he never seems to adjust his layers. By the time we get home, my coat, hat, scarf, and gloves are all off… and he’s perfectly fine in his three layers and coat. Interesting.
  5. “I’m so sick of seeing the same people all of the time. I wish I could see some new faces every once in awhile.” I’m actually taken aback when I do see the same person more than once. It’s almost unsettling.
  6. photo-43“Gosh, I really wish the wind would pick up a little.” It is so unbelievably windy. Every time I round a corner I hold my breath and wait for the gust to hit me. I should have known it was bad when my new hairdresser blew my hair the opposite way after she cut it “just to make sure it looks okay in the wind.”
  7. “Hey… want to go hang out in Times Square??” The crowds are to be avoided at all costs, unless you’re on your way somewhere and it’s absolutely necessary to cut through.
  8. “I’m so glad that my neighbors named their unruly cat after a fruit and yell its name all day, every day,” …said my next-door neighbor.

Disclaimer: I know there are always exceptions to these, so don’t hate on me, NY gentlemen (like my husband). 

I’d love to hear any additions you have! Happy New Year!

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One Response to Top 8 Things You’ll Never Hear a New Yorker Say

  1. Stephanie says:

    “Maybe I should shower since I’m going to be riding on the subway in close quarters and shouldn’t smell bad”

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