Breast Cancer Awareness

You probably haven’t noticed my absence, but my last post was September 28th. I pretty much missed the entire month of October, which, in a way, I feel like I did miss the month of October.

ImageMy mom was diagnosed with breast cancer on October 8th. For the second time. She had breast cancer a little under five years ago. Needless to say, routine mammograms are a source of high anxiety. My mom went for her routine mammogram on October 4th, and they found something. She had a biopsy on October 5th, and on October 8th, she found out that it was cancer. Again. 
The thing about cancer is that it doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t care if you had cancer already and had your “turn.” It doesn’t care if you are only 49 or 53 years old. It doesn’t care that you’ve watched friends and neighbors die from this disease
My first response was incredible sadness and anger. Why MY mom? Why is she having to go through this again? I also felt angry with God. Why would he let this happen again?? I know he can heal, but what if he doesn’t? Once I got past the initial angry feelings, I was able to see God’s hand and his goodness and be grateful amidst this situation. 
Grateful that we have now have friends and support in NYC. 
Grateful that I had the freedom and ability to go to NC for 12 days and help my mom during and after surgery.
Grateful that they caught the cancer early and labelled it a Stage 0. 
I have to focus on the little signs of God’s faithfulness, because if I see the big picture of how much has happened in the past six months, I can be easily overwhelmed. 
My mom is an incredibly strong woman. I am so proud of her faith and courage in the face of this trial. Only someone as sweet as my mom would say, “Am I complaining too much?” after a major surgery. 
Don’t get me wrong, I am so thankful that breast cancer has so much support and visibility. But imagine for a moment that it was you that had cancer, and every single place you went was a reminder of that. Pink ribbons. Pink kitchen utensils. Requests for donations. Teams wearing pink jerseys. Tons of commercials. It’s a constant reminder of the cancer that invaded your body.
Breast cancer awareness month? 
I’m aware. 
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